On Telling the Truth

     In the song Rhythm from a Red Car, Hardline, the American rock band formed in 1991 whose members did shows with the likes of famous artists Van Halen and Ozzy Osborne, had this to say: Now, you're lookin' good in the mirror, then you blind me with your lie.

     Not telling the truth is often the easier way out, not just for kids, but also for adults. Often, it is something that people would rather not hear most conveniently, whether it be in the classroom, school, church or home. It is an act considered not welcome as the vulnerability of man is exposed. What then should the proper attitude be of someone who is to call attention to a delusion that telling a lie is? This is as restoration will always be the goal.

     Saying as it is. When what was said cannot be taken in most willingly line, hook and sinker, then it has to be branded for what it is: a lie.

     Hearing him out. The jaw quivers, the muscle on the side of the face twitches, and the hand shakes out of anger for having heard a big lie told. Still, hear him out. He may have believed in a lie, and clung to it as if it were the truth, but air his side, he must. Whether it's a child or an adult who has lied, give him the chance, listen to what has to be said, praying that he would see the gaps in his line of reasoning, get confused, and repent. Best of all, hearing somebody out is a sign of respect. In the first place, not many people may have been willing to pay attention to him, making the person think of resorting to the use of lies just to get heard.

     Softened up with a touch of humility. Caution, however, has to be exercised for one may have caught the villain in the act, but then he'd escape, remaining unconvinced. Soften it up with humility though the person is told that what he believes in is nothing, but a lie. Acknowledge that you, too, are fallen, and are in need of grace that only God can show and bestow. Hopefully, he will then understand that humans do make mistakes, have misconceptions in life, and yet, have the ability to regain respect in the self. A haughty manner and a condescending look will definitely only drive the other person even farther away.

     Call to action. Invite the other person to reconsider his stance. Let it be clear that something has to be done. Give him the option to respond.

     Today, may we have the grace to show someone we care. When asked in GMA 7's Tonight with Arnold Clavio if transgenders should be allowed to join the pageant, 1999 Miss Universe 1st runner-up Filipina beauty, Miriam Quiambao, famous for having slipped on stage during the evening gown competition, touched the representative from the Society of Transsexual Women of the Philippines (STRAP) on the arm, and said softly, "It's not because you grew up playing with dolls that you were born a woman. I want you to know the truth."

Self-compassion (HPC)

Posted on April 12, 2012 by elsaabao

     In a small lab in San Diego, California, a staff of three got the right combination of chemicals for WD-40, a rust-prevention solvent sprayed on missiles, WD-40 meaning Water Displacement successful only on the 40th attempt! Almost sixty (60) years later in 2012, the original formulation remains in use even in households, raking in more revenues for an enterprise which would've otherwise been a total failure had they immediately given up in 1953.

     When so many people's lives would be jeopardized by a businessman's inability to cut his losses, and make a good turn around, his fickle self-esteem and sense of worth also plummet. What if it's something truly desired? How then would he learn to live with himself?

     Failure is definitely not something people would welcome going through. When it does come, a person can be his worst critic, yet he can also exercise self-compassion.

     Self-compassion, pioneered by Kristin Neff, Associate Professor at the University of Texas in Austin, is "extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure or general suffering" (Wikipedia); one does not show kindness only to others.

     The billionaire Sam Wyly sold class rings to go to Louisiana Tech, and later became America's 354th wealthiest (2006). He understood the importance of showing compassion to oneself (Wyly, 2008, p. 25): "If you ... wallow.. restraining personal demons.. worrying about things you don't have the mental energy left to figure out where you want to go, and how to get there..."

     Be kind to yourself. As Kipling said: "If you can make one heap of all your winnings ... lose and start again.. never breathe a word about your loss .. Yours is the Earth, and everything .. in it .., my son!"

On Fire

(November 12, 2009)

     Maby was to fry fish balls she had just taken out of the freezer, leftovers from snacks they had the day before.

     She turned on the range, and decided she'd go about doing the slicing of the balls in good spirits.

     Standing beside the range, she felt in control, and so, she thought until she heard the crackling sound of things being set on fire. The range was only an arm's length away, and when the noise got thru to her singing, the oil was already spitting itself up in flames twice as high as the stainless pot was. It became reminiscent of Moses' pillar of fire!

     Not willing to betray a disarray of thoughts and nervousness, she went from range to sink with a hand towel, but changed her mind about holding the pot that was burning itself up. She turned to her right and remembered to turn off the tank. Then, off to the wall she was to turn off the breakers.

     Outside the door, she stepped to visualize how it ought to be, so when her uncle, Tatay Ala, passed by, she asked him to come post haste.

     She handed over the thick towel to him and asked him to get the pot and bring it down on the pavement outside.

     Thankful that there was only the crackling of the pot and the oil clinging like soot to its corners, she thanked her uncle profusely.

WHOA!!

(November 10, 2009)

     I wake up from a restless sleep curiously dreaming of Dingdong Dantes whom I never really care that much for. (I salute him though as an actor!) My mom is still fast asleep.

     Ooops, the gate! It has to be unlocked to let visitors in at 6:30 a.m.

     With the gate ready, I sit on the metal bench to enjoy the view. A grand view of 2-storey high palmera trees with orchids standing on wooden slats or crawling on stems regal people passing by no end. I know for they tell us, and even have their pictures taken in the yard as the grandiose splendor of plants made our house in need of monstrous repairs look grand indeed.

     Not a minute longer, please. I run to the kitchen, get the hot water, and take a bath.

     Hey, Ma! I open the bathroom door a crack. I forgot something.... I smile peevishly. Can you please, please... give it to me?

     Uh, oh... My hand finds the article I was looking for hanging on the bathroom door's knob.

     No need, Ma! It's with me. I got it...

     She comes moving from side to side like a ship at sail with footsteps uncertain, and slips to the side a little.

     My tongue will have started off in abuse, so I smile. Hey, careful!

     I dress up. Life is truly exciting.

NIGHT

(June 7, 2010 6 p.m.)

     Some people become apprehensive when day segues into night. The dark tends to bring with it a tinge of sadness and a little fear, particularly when one lives in a place where youngsters on the loose prowl the streets, and stay along the driveway of homes (pie-eyed and drunk from all the bingeing and arguing both with parents and friends).

     Yet, one dares to take heart, face the coming of night, and decide to hover between uncertainty and indifference, living with a frame of mind determined to look at the neighborhood not as one full of thieves, but of good people still.

     Well, we welcome the night!

MISTAKEN

(June 8, 2010 9 a.m.)

     Arien stood up from her bed she pushed against the wall with the headboard facing the window. She heard a knock, and the shuffle of feet outside the door.

     "Hello, good afternoon." It was Keno, a senior from Quirino High School where she was the school paper adviser, and Keno, the incoming student council prexy.

     "Hi!" Keno acknowledged her presence and those of the two (2) other advisers who were in the room. "We just need the receipt for claiming the art materials." "Yup...," said Marry, the pretty and fair editor-in-chief of their high school who was also with him.

     The door closed quietly as Keno and Marry went down the hall.

     "Wow, your husband's a gentleman. Real sweet...," said Dee, one of the two women who shared the room with her, together with the six (6) female wards they had.

     "Huh?!" Oh, no. He's a student." A little surprised, that was all she said.

EATING

(June 8, 2010 12 noon)

     Lunch can be such fun, a relaxing routine although there may be not much of meat to eat.

     Today, I just had vegetables – cabbage and carrots thinly sliced with almost a cup of white rice, and goody-goody (!) surprisingly, a leg of chicken mother had set aside for me. Well, yesterday, I had even less, just strips of cabbage (for the nth time), beans and some red bell pepper with rice, but I had fun and my fill nonetheless.

     Then, when I got home, I rummaged through the crisper, and had a mango sliced in cubes laid up on its glorious skin with flesh turned from inside out.